a stray word

i was reading on the train this morning, my universities by gorky
a stray word, Rybnoryadsky Street, sent straight back to memories of my grandmother
and her words of affection for us,
rybka, little fish,
zaba, frog

i had to wipe my eyes
i miss my grandmother,
dear bunia, i love you
14 april 1914-15 december 2008

sartorial solipsism

this morning on the way into work i saw three outfits i loved

i only thought to snap a photo (sartorialist style) on the third outfit

the first was a chick riding her bike, stopped at the light. i only saw her from the back

plain black top (i think, or didn't think to notice)

a beige-mushroom shade cotton skirt with broidery anglaise-like patterning

teamed with black dense-lace knee-highs and black sandals

very cool!
(her helmet also had eyes stuck on it)

the second was a woman wearing a navy sleeveless dress, i think cotton again, with red piping at the neck, and a red belt across the waist

(these dresses only approximate it)

finally, this outfit, snapped so i don't have to struggle with describing it

(actually i also saw a woman wearing a clingy leopard print dress, while stylishly cycling along gertrude street)

you have been here some time

it wasn't until after she had died that i realised that my grandmother, a wonderful cook, almost defined in my world by her wonderful cooking, didn't begin to cook in earnest until she was almost 50.

louise bourgeois, too, did not come into her own, or at least did not exhibit her works publicly until she was past 50.

i just recently read that a collection of interviews given by louise bourgeois was chosen by david john, you have been here some time, as the book that most inspired him

Louise Bourgeois Destruction of the Father, Reconstruction of the Father - Writings and Interviews 1923 - 1997

Louise Bourgeois' writings and interviews have given me more insight than perhaps any other designer/artist. On my down days, I can open the yellowed pages and sink into her explanations and defenses of why she created work for 70 plus years . Every time, I'm instantly grounded.

i found this book in the library by chance last week. i was looking at books about sustainable house design and dealing with architects, and another library user has tucked louise bourgeois into this company.

would i have borrowed it if i hadn't read john's piece? can't say, but i like the chance of it.

i am 41. it is not too late. it is never too late.

"you have been here some time" is no reason to think there is not much more time to spend.

there is still time to be brave

louise bourgeois, I Do. I Undo. I Redo (text

written on 28 february 2000 concerning a sculpture of the same name commissioned by tate modern)

I do is an active state. It's a positive affirmation. I am in control, and I move forward, toward a goal or a wish or a desire. There is no fear. In terms of a relationship, things are fine and peaceful ... It is the "I Love You" no matter what.

The Undo is the unravelling. The torment that things are not right and the anxiety of not knowing what to do. There can be total destruction in the attempt to find an answer, and there can be terrific violence that descends into depression. One is immobile in the wake of the fear. It is the view from the bottom of the well. In terms of a relationship to others, it's a total rejection and destruction. It is the return of the repressed ... One retreats into one's lair to strategise, recover and regroup.

The Redo means that a solution is found to the problem. It may not be the final answer, but there is an attempt to go forward. You get clearer in your thinking. You are active again. You have confidence again. In terms of relationships to others, the reparation and reconciliation have been achieved. Things are back to normal. There is hope and love again.

street art of sasha kurmaz

more works here, seen first on it's nice that

Color games
Series of wall drawings. In which colors play with each other. Fun and jump, and ride the carousel.

Project "Connect me"
Series of outdoor interactive graphics. In which the viewer himself directly involved in the creation of street art. I'm just pointing out to him the way.

2011 thinking

some bits of inspiration, found lurking on other blogs,
pages from david hockney's essay for paris vogue, dec 1985-jan 1986 [sourced here]

nothing wrong with a "to do" list,

especially this one by johnny cash [sourced here]

and a little casual satchel lust [found here, available here]

the sea ...

i remember watching an adaptation of robinson crusoe years and years ago.
i thought it was a 70s production but my google research tells me it was most likely luis buñuel's 1954 film.
there is a scene where robinson crusoe is haranguing friday, being strict and prim and a gentleman of his times. soon after there is a scene where friday is on the beach, singing to himself,

the sea is a woman,
and i swim in the sea ...

the sea is a woman, and i swim in the sea ...

this has stayed with me for well over 20 years. i loved it. i loved its cheekiness and irreverance and sensuality, and straight up sexuality.

i was reminded of this again when i saw this ring, here
and i thought, yes, that's right, my love for p is strong like the sea
i would like to wear a ring of love (a badge of honour) saying as much.
i love pxxx

do me a ffaber

in the early 90s faber & faber published books with truly wonderful covers
for a long time i was buying faber publications almost exclusively, tempted by the covers
some of my top 5 authors were found via faber's art work:

milan kundera, immortality
(review, selective affinities, ny review of books)

paul auster, leviathan
(second hand, signed copy available)

achel ingalls, the pearlkillers or any of her
rachel ingalls, the pearlkillers (or any of her short stories)
but there were also non-fiction faber fin
find
but there were also non-fiction faber finds,

an intimate history of humanity, by theodore zeldin a book i loved reading, so i lent it to someone and it's since disappeared
i found an 1994 review of zeldin's book in the independent, by alain de botton, the opening paragraph of which suggests (to me at least) that this book may have helped de botton choose his future literary directions,
THE Oxford historian Theodore Zeldin has taken the academically unfashionable step of writing a book which aims to change our lives. It is an accessible, audacious and thought- provoking work which presents history as a liberating force, one which can reveal the multiplicity of human possibilities, and thereby free us from the impasses of the present.
Zeldin's title is somewhat misleading. This is no history in the chronological sense, nor is it specifically a study of love and friendship. Rather, the book asks a host of questions about the nature of human needs and desires, amounting to a grand survey of the ends of life. It is divided into 25 essays, with such titles as 'men and women have slowly learned to have interesting conversations', 'How people have freed themselves from fear by finding new fears', and 'How even astrologers resist their destiny'.

i recently came across the work of psychoanalyst adam phillips. flipping through his latest book*, on balance, i became curious about his (many) earlier texts, with fascinating titles such as
on kissing, tickling and being bored: psychoanalytic essays on the unexamined life.
published by faber in 1993, i soon found a second hand copy and sure enough, the cover art did not disappoint.
(another independent review)


*it was in fact, this very act of flipping that reminded me of my faber & faber obsession. because i was standing in the very same area of the brunswick street bookstore where i had found zeldin, an intimate history ... so many years ago.